(Originally posted 7 September 2007, however, I like this entry a lot, so instead of setting the correct post date – as I will with the other entries I transfer over – I’m leaving this at the top until I write a new entry.)
This being the official first blog of my website, I don’t know what to say. So many possibilities ran through my mind: It needs to be witty, yet philosophic. Something meaningful. Or just something funny. It needs to catch people’s attention and hold it there.
But I haven’t a clue how to do that outside of my stories. Really. I mean, I could tell you about the time I dumped a four-wheeler into the bayou outside my aunt’s home in Texas. Or about the time I fell out of a second story window when I was about five years old. How about the time I backed my fiance’s car into a parked truck in our apartment’s parking lot? They all make interesting stories and I’m sure that at some point of time I will tell them in public, but for now, let’s go with something simpler and more to the point.
Why do I write.
I write because it makes me happy. Really. It took me a long time to realize that. I’ve always lived with a minor depression, just blue feelings underneath all of the others. One day as I was driving home, I realized I wasn’t depressed anymore. At all. Not that I don’t have my blue days or just a wild mood swing here and there, but that underlying feeling of sadness has just vanished. Disappeared. Abra cadabra! it’s gone. And that makes me feel good. I feel like I’ve lost this heavy weight that perched on my chest, trying to sink me. Now I can float as high and as free as I can!
That being said… I also write what I do because I like exploring the shadow. The darkness that permeates all life and everyone. I’ve never met someone without a dark side. Show me someone without a dark side and I’ll show you the Antichrist. Well, maybe just a liar, a good actor. But I’m still betting on the Antichrist. Really! The Antichrist will probably be the cleanest-cut, blondest, and blue-eyed…uh..est person around.
I can’t say I live in the darkness, but I’ve been there. I’ve spent a lot of time there. It’s where you learn the true measure of yourself. Let’s just say… I know how tall I stand. But do you?
I hope you enjoy the site.