Algebraic!

If you know what I mean by algebraic, you’re epic awesome. If you don’t, you probably don’t have kids or you’re a for-real-grown-up. (Note: I am not a for-real-grown-up. I’m an 8 year old trapped in a hobbit sized body that people keep insisting is an adult, but I keep telling them I don’t know what that word means! Besides the obvious requirement for giggling anytime adult is combined with something else. Adult diapers. Adult swim. Adult movies. Adult waffles. It’s all funny to me.)

Algebraic

So what’s this non-movie-review-themed blog going to be about? Well, if you haven’t caught on already…

Adventure Time

Adventure Time (with Finn and Jake) is literally one of my favorite shows of all time. Not to suggest I don’t enjoy more adult fare too. I love The Walking Dead, Arrested Development, Alcatraz, Family Guy, Futurama, Johnny Test, Grimm, Once Upon A Time, and too many others to list because it exposes just how much time I waste sitting on my rear watching television. <sigh> But I can watch AT all the time and never really get bored, which says a lot for a kid’s show averaging 12 minutes per episode, with but 3 seasons in the can (so far).

I guess I’m a little over-excited since new episodes are hitting the adult-tube on April 2nd. I can’t wait!

But why bring this show up in the first place, you’re probably thinking as you scratch your head. Well, I think a lot can be learned from this show. It shouldn’t get overlooked just because it’s on Cartoon Network.

First, the show takes place in the Land of Ooo. Through reveals during certain episodes and the opening shots, the viewer realizes Ooo is actually planet Earth following some horrible, terrible catastrophic event. Remnants of war, bombs and planes and such, hang around like half-buried memorials to the world that used to be. Throwing logic right out the window, magic has become very real, the Candy Kingdom is filled with living, breathing, talking candy people, and Finn is the “last” human left.

Aside from its wildly apocalyptic setting, the show tackles some really serious plot lines. Zombies (twice), murderers, soul snatchers, of course Finn’s semi-lonely existence as the sole human anyone knows, vampires, whywolves, dungeons, beasts, best friends, kidnappers. One of my favorite moments finds Finn and Jake talking with talking Princess Bubblegum, in which they reveal Finn is the “last” human around and was found abandoned in the forest. Princess Bubblegum asks if Finn has any interesting stories about his human relatives, and he replies: “I’ve never met any other humans. When I think about it I get all soul searchy and weird.”

Finn gets soul searchy and weird

I freaking LOVE that stuff. There’s these little interjections of awesomeness between the fart and prank jokes that gets overlooked because it’s a show for children. The show tackles moral questions through the eyes of a heroic, violent boy on the cusp of teenagedom (he’s 13), and asks “Why not?”

Maybe I enjoy the show so much because in some ways, I really am still a child. For example: When you see a house with a  turquoise/blue lawn, you know that pesticide was recently put down, right? Well, I thought it was paint and I didn’t learn it wasn’t until my husband told me so. One day I had remarked how silly it was that people painted their lawns in summer since the grass dies – especially since they painted it an unnatural color like blue – and he actually doubled over with laughter and told me through his tears that it was pesticide, not paint. I was 22 at the time. Just so you know. Go ahead and get your laughs in. I’ll wait and doodle.

my drawings

From left to right: Jake, Ice King, Finn. Also my not-so-hot drawing skills are so math, right?

But really, the biggest lesson I take away from Adventure Time is to have fun, be yourself, be silly, be whatever you feel like being. (Insert create wherever it fits.) I realized recently I’ve been so wrapped up in writing something good — something that matters – I haven’t been creating and there is a difference between the two.

So thanks, Penn Ward and the Adventure Time cast and crew, for reminding me to enjoy what I do, even if I get a little silly (or plain crazy) at times.

Insanity

Counting Down til the End

. . . . of the world . . . .

 

Well, perhaps not the end of the world. At least, not until December 21, 2012. (By the way, my apologies for that link. It was uncalled for. Try this one instead. It will hopefully be more to your liking.)

Unfortunately, while I’m still holding out hopes for a Zombie Apocalypse in 2012, I’m not really counting on it either. In the mean time, I am getting busy working on my bachelor’s degree. (It’s only been 9 years. About darned time I got started!) I’m getting my degree in Creative Writing and English online, and part of why I’ve been absent. School has been great, if a lot of busy work. (I write a LOT of essays!) But as I’ve started to get things balanced, it’s time to get back into the step of things.

Some updates since my last post:

I’ve moved once again. We’re stationed in yet another small Texas town, and moving has certainly been its own brand of fun. My poor, poor babies have been overturned and hauled around again. Those long-suffering books of mine, which had just gotten comfortable on their shelves, had to be packed up and moved again. Oh, yeah, and everybody else, too. I can say this honestly… I hate moving. I’ll probably start looking forward to it again in a few years, but for now, I’m glad to be getting comfortable again.

Getting comfortable again, adjusting to this new much busier schedule of mine, does include writing! Wait, let’s do that with a little more celebratory attitude…

IM WRITING!

Cel-A-Brate!

 

Also I’ve got some plans in the works. Secret, world conquering plans. Which I will divulge at a later date. But just know the blueprints exist for domination. And domination it will be.

On the horror movie review front, I’ve got some reviews lined up, like: Necromentia, The Last Exorcism, Shutter, My Soul to Take, and I Sell the Dead. There will be others as they roll in, some new and some old. All with a touch of my individual brand of humor. (Flavored crazy, touched up with short and sweet.) Time for some Hump Day Horror with some Double Doses.

There’s book reviews in store, some free fiction, and a whole site overhaul. Keep an eye out for things to come! But with that in mind… it’s mid-terms, and I’ve got homework!

Random Truths I Should Never Admit to on the Internet #193

While wasting my time connecting with people on FB, in my mind I make car revving noises (vroom, vroom), and squealing brakes (eerrr@!!) when I begin an earnest session of drive-by status commenting… and/or updating my own status. Also and/or not including repetition of random words “like likety like like” and “status statusy.. status statusy..” Is my insanity showing?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Excuse me, ma’am..

Howdy readers!

I figure a good ol’ Texan greetin’ be a mighty fine way of startin’ this here bloggin’ thing-a-ma-jig.

But, since I can’t keep up that Texan accent for the entire course, let’s just move ahead now.

I’ve been debating for a couple days now what to blog about. I’d considered Research and Writing; also Getting Back in the Groove; and a few other miscellaneous writing focused topics. But that didn’t seem to suit my style. Much less do I feel writing a blog about writing excuses me from my writing-absence. (I dare not refer to the time I haven’t been writing as a vacation; it deserves no such excuses.)

I’ve settled for telling an embarrassing anecdote from my personal life. It’s made a couple rounds, proven itself a hilarious tale, so let’s start, shall we?

To set the mood…

Holla!

Excuse me, Ma’am…

The day was bright, unexceptional in East Texas. I had to run by the grocery store, pick up a few items.

As I’m wandering the aisles, I noticed a man had eyed me. Smiled as I walked past even and said “Hi.” I nodded and said “Hello” back. (I try to be very polite.)

After checking out, I stopped by the Blockbuster Express Box (similar to Redbox, just blue instead) to find a couple movies for me and the kids to watch later while Daddy’s at work.

As I’m standing there, browsing through the listings, the same gentleman walks past, his friend standing close by. He stops and says, “Excuse me, Ma’am, I don’t do this often, but what is that you’re wearing?”

……….. PAUSE…………….

I always have to pause at this part.

For men: If you walk past a woman in a store and ask her this question, what do you mean? What answer are you expecting?

For women: If a man approaches you in a store and asks you that question, what do you think he means? What do you answer?

Now that you’ve thought about that.

………….PLAY……………..

I very casually, and after only a few seconds of hesitation reply: “A black sweater.”

Indeed.

My reply to, “Ma’am, what is that you’re wearing?” is “A black sweater.”

And mentally, I was already cataloging my other pieces of attire to round out my reply with, “Grey tank top, black pants, tennis shoes, socks and under-things.” (Like I’m going to reference my under clothes in conversation with a strange man! At least, not by direct name!)

No, seriously. While I am the physical and feminine embodiment of the Absent-Minded-Professor, I am amazingly adept at cataloging those minute thoughts that pass through my mind in seconds. (I think it was the brief time I spent practicing meditation. I learned to see and hear my thoughts as they run past. Helps with keep track of story ideas, too.)

His reply….

Bent-over-clutching-belly-with-one-hand-grabbing-knees-with-the-other laughter.

And then, “Oh, sweetheart, I meant your perfume.”

In my mind was the glaring neon side: Why didn’t you just say THAT?

I replied, after pulling my mouth from the words Gray tank top, black pants, etc. “It’s just something I got at Walmart. Called Tabu.” (Or Taboo. I can’t ever seem to remember the spelling.)

While still chuckling, he says, “Well, it smells nice.” Then he leaves, a great big grin on his face. I get the movies and skedaddle as fast as short legs’ll take me.

But wait…. there’s more!

So, upon arriving in my drive way, still going over that brief conversation in my head, I keep coming back to:

1) Why didn’t the guy just say “What’s that perfume you’re wearing?”

2) How on Earth under Heaven did he smell it???????????

I started pondering whether or not men had a better sense of smell, because I sure couldn’t smell the small spritz I’d put on hours ago. There was a brief internal debate about the detection of feminine pheromones and sense of smell, and then I realized that I had a man in the house I could just ask!

A few hours later, I wake the hubby up for work and explain to him the situation at the store. I ask if men have a better sense of smell.

……….PAUSE……….

This is just for you average folk out there to really soak this in.

I seriously, very studiously, asked my husband if men had a better sense of smell since this guy at the grocery store could smell my perfume and asked me what brand it was.

Yeah.

……….PLAY…………

My wonderful husband proceeds to laugh, though a gentle chuckle followed by an embarrassed head shake.

He explains that:

1) the man was hitting on me because

2) he more than likely couldn’t smell my perfume but

3) women are usually very proud of the accessories they wear and spray on themselves and

4) perfume is an excellent method of getting a woman to talk about herself which

5) leads the woman to think a man is truly interested in her since he’s listening and not yawning and

6) might get her to either offer her number or willingly give it if he asks.

He then explains why this fails to work on me because:

1) I don’t take particular care in my choice of accessories and tend to forget what it is I’ve put on, whether earrings, bracelet, perfume, or even clothing (as in “Oh yeah, that’s the shirt I’m wearing!”) and

2) I’m naive and

3) I’m innocent.

He then reminds me of the time when I was 22 years old and while driving with him down the road remarked: I don’t know why people paint their lawns that turquoise color. It’s not realistic. Why not paint it green?

Also that he almost hit the brakes hard enough to squeal so he could stop, stare at me, then shake his head in an embarrassed way. (He did inform me at the time that it was pesticide, whereupon I called my sister to tell her that–assuming she still thought it was paint, too, who told me that No, she knew it was pesticide and had known that for a while now. *sigh* I will also freely admit that I have to restrain myself from blurting out “paint” when I see it and remind myself it’s pesticide. Ah, the pieces of youth we cling to.)

I had to ask if other women would have known the man was referring to perfume, and after performing a short survey..

Yes. Yes, they would have.

<fin>

There you have it. An extremely embarrassing story. One I will both enjoy telling and retelling for the laughs it gets, while secretly inside it’s to remind myself that when a man asks you what you’re wearing, unless he specifically asks for your brand/style of clothing, he probably means your perfume.

(I hope that video embed works!)

BTW, I’m Back in Business….

In two days I’ve written half of a short story, which I hope to complete tonight or by tomorrow afternoon. (Doing research for a, er, research project took a few hours longer than I thought it would, so I’ve been left with the option of sleeping very little or not sleeping at all–I will probably choose to get some sleep!)

I’ve got two other projects lined up and ready to start/resume as soon as I’ve finished this one. Editing another complete story before I send it out into the world once more. (It’s been rejected 3 times so far. But, hey, it has been rejected… which means I did send it out!)

I have plans to have new fiction posted to the site within the next week. (Not the current short story in the works. That one is something special. But something new, just for y’all.)

As well as more regular blogging, and a return to such prolific subjects like book/movie reviews (which earn my blog stat keep! At least 10 a day, even when I don’t blog!) and writing tips, and my specialty, funny personal anecdotes.

So, keep an eye out. I’m back in the saddle again. Ready to ride?

Random Paranoid Fear of the Day #48

Late in the Texas night, bugs begin thudding quite heavily upon the windows, attracted by the light (or two) that I can’t resist having on until I go to sleep. One day, several hundred of these bugs, particularly the big ones that don’t go “thud” –they go “THUMP”– will realize that if they synchronize their banging, they’ll crack the window and force their way in. *shivers*

Bugs!!!!!

Aaaaiiiieeeee!!!!!

(These, uh, pictures doing anything for ya? Let me know, huh? I put work into that, and if it just drags down the load time, I can just cut it out, yeah?)

Til next time, kiddies….

Fickle Readers, Zombieland, and NaNoWriMo

Y’all are horrible, ya know? I put great effort into blogging a lot in September, and my views drop considerably (except for the week I blogged about Megan Fox, but her post was only third highest! Ha!!) … but I don’t blog for yet another month and my views go up and remain a constant 20-30 a day.

What is wrong with you?

No, that was not a rhetorical question! I want answers! Comment them!

But let’s not go into how you never comment…..

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So October 3rd, I went to see Zombieland.

200px-Zombieland-poster

There was one scene where I jumped. That’s it. Aside from that, the story was 90% funny, with a brief 10% of truly emotional back ground. A few scenes were very touching.

The zombies were not of the undead variety, rather they were the diseased living person type from 28 Days Later. They were also not very scary, despite the buckets of blood and creepy costumes. It was difficult to take the zombies seriously, when the opening credits are a slow-mo montage of spectacular zombie chases and attacks. (There’s a particular zombie-stripper moment which truly demonstrates the effect of gravity on breasts.)

The film contains many little flash backs, montages, and cut-aways, which make it obvious the film is going more for laughs than scares. (I really can’t imagine who they were planning to scare with hilarious set-ups like the Zombie Kill of the Week; the rules Columbus comes up with to survive the Zombie Apocalypse, such as “Beware of Bathrooms: Zombies like to attack at vulnerable moments;” as well as Columbus’s irrational fear of… everything. Including clowns. Worst is zombie clowns. Even I have to admit that one would actually scare me if stumbled upon in real life.)

The touching, emotional plot point steps in entirely in Tallahassee’s character, both the strongest and most withdrawn, yet the most emotional and connected to his past. While Wichita, her sister Little Rock and Columbus appear to have accepted the change in the world, as well as lost family and loved ones, with the ease and tolerance of the disconnected-from-people perspective of the young today, Tallahassee is closely tied to what he lost that he loved most dearly. When Columbus realizes just what the strong cowboy is talking about, and reveals the truth to the audience, a tear springs to the corner of your eye.

As such, I feel like standing on a podium in front of a tent decorated with zombie posters from the film, and harking about it’s complete package-ness. It’s touching, there might be a scare or two in it for you (if you’re easy), it’s hilarious, there’s a quest for Twinkies, and a Bill Murray cameo that was for once kept entirely out of the film’s press and took everyone by surprise. It has everything you’ve ever wanted in a zombie comedy!

I can’t wait for this movie to hit DVD shelves everywhere. It will be added to the collection.

Starring Woody Harrelson, Jesse Eisenberg, Emma Stone, and Abigail Breslin, with Bill Murray appearing as himself, this is the extent of the cast, aside from zombified extras.

So run out and see it if it’s in theaters in your area, or wait patiently for it to come on DVD, or steal it in transit to the dollar theater. Whichever option suits you best.

A sequel is possibly in the works, which would include the same returning cast, so keep an eye out for that. As such, I leave you with…

zombieland_photo_08-535x355

 

Zombie Clown. Just a messed up combination.

#

 

NaNoWriMo is coming up. No, that’s not some Mork word. (If no one gets that, maybe I’ve watched too much old, old, OLD Nick at Nite.)

National Novel Writing Month is an event held every November, where thousands (millions?) of writers and wanna-be writers congregate at www.nanowrimo.org to fulfill their dreams of writing a novel in 30 days, at a pace of about 1,367 words per day.

Check it out.

There’s tons of forums to find encouragement and discuss frustrations.

The main idea is to write as much as possible as fast as possible to satisfy the 50,000 words by November 30th deadline.

If you make it through, there’s a prize. I do not recall what it is. Oh, wait, self-esteem and confidence. You wrote a novel. It will probably stink, but you still wrote it.

I’m trying again this year. I say “try” because I’ve yet to make it through the month and finish a 50K novel.

Usually, my problem is I take on too many side projects during the month and don’t leave enough breathing room to work on a novel. I have four days before the month starts again, I’m taking down a few notes and ideas to work on, then we shall see how it goes again this year.

Most of all, it’s about having fun. Not everyone who signs up succeeds, most just have fun getting as far as they can. There’s a lot of wonderful and helpful tips on the website for writing during NaNoWriMo, as well as in general.

So swing by and make yourself at home if you’re a writer. If you’re not, I must ask, who said you weren’t? Take your browser there and sign up. Do something new and different, even if you think you’ll fail, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try.

#

I can’t wait to see how a new blog affects the views. I wonder if they’ll rise or fall? You fickle, fickle readers.

Keep an eye out. I’m going to do a review of Paranormal Activity here in the next few days. (When I find the odd moment of quiet time. Even now I am being smothered in the wee hours of the morning before school. Already the munchkins are up and hovering.)

See you on the flip side!

Many Apologies – Life

Oh, yes. Got another letter today. This is one addressed to “Lazy Writer in Lawton.” Post marked from LIFE.

Lazy Writer,

What has been up with you lately? Sure, you don’t put out much on a regular basis, but seriously… a month? A whole month with zero posts? Or any hard core writing at that?

This is your warning. Get back on track or we will send the Big Ass Patrolman around to your kick your booty.

Pissed Off,

Life

So, I’ve had a busy month. Lots of ups and downs. A few personal issues and just fatigue in general. Makes writing and blogging a difficult, though not completely impossible. (I am posting… finally, right?)

As such, I have only one question to ask…..

What is up with getting MORE site views when I don’t post at all than when I post regularly???

No, really. I’ve had days with over 100 sites views. I haven’t had that many site views since the FIRST day I announced the site was open to the public. Nearly 2 years ago!

So, thanks for being loyal I guess.

I think this means I owe you guys something.

Well, here ya go.

funny_signs_6

Keep trespassing all you want, however. Visit every link you can and don’t forget to leave footprints!

I’ll be back soon. Pinkie promise!!