Shanna Wynne

Have you ever found yourself pondering the inevitable collapse of civilization at the hands of the undead? A.K.A. the Zombie Apocalypse? Have you wondered at how this could occur? What type of zombies you are likely to encounter? Are there multiple types? (According to Zombies Central, there are.)

If you haven’t yet, you should get your hands on a copy of the The Zombie Survival Guide: Complete Protection from the Living Dead by Max Brooks. Here you will find the guidance and directions about preparing yourself for the zombie onslaught. Whether it’s fortifying your home, the best weapons to arm yourself with, or how to “clean-up” after the Zombie Apocalypse ends, this book has everything you ever wanted to know.

It also sticks to the traditional rules about zombies.

What are these traditional rules?

Traditional Zombie Rules

#1:

Zombies are slow. Because of their rotting state of decay, zombies lack the ability to think beyond basic instincts (such as eating, finding food and shuffling around, and grunting) and can only move in a hobbled, limped gait. Their coordination lacks any cohesiveness. Combine that with their lack of muscle structure (if they have many muscles left at all) and you’re left with a slow-moving, if tenacious undead creature that will continue to pursue its prey long after the prey is out of sight.

#2:

The only sure way to kill a zombie is to blow its head right off. Sure, you can try setting it on fire or shooting it to smithereens, but if you don’t destroy the brain, you are not guaranteed that the zombie is officially–really–dead. It’s just immobile. As long as the brain is intact, it will continue to seek food…. i.e. YOUR gray matter.

#3:

One of the top reasons zombies are scary, whether the traditional slow- moving type or the modern fast, ninja-like ones, is the speed of infectious transmission. Do not get bitten! Keep infected blood out of any open orifice or wound! The smallest fraction of saliva or blood WILL infect you. Considering that there is never enough time for scientists to safely tackle the zombie disease (if that is the origin) with experiments and tests to determine if there is a cure or possible vaccination before the Apocalypse begins, the zombie plague spreads quickly from infected to uninfected, almost as though airborne. (This is definitely not the case, however; the plague would spread much faster if it were.) The best thing you can do to protect yourself is to avoid the bite or blood of a zombie!

So there we have the 3 basic, “traditional” rules. With emerging new and innovative science and the creative imagination, we are learning that there are many new rules to be learned.

First, I highly advocate reading “5 Scientific Reasons a Zombie Apocalypse Could Actually Happen,” by David Wong, from The Evil Sloth.

Now, sure you might be thinking that this stuff is just ridiculous fantasy. You might even think the Zombie Apocalypse is pure fiction! But keep an open-mind. Sure, the likelihood of an unholy evil or plague actually reanimating corpses is incredibly unlikely. (I’ll give you that. It’s just fun to think about.) But as it’s pointed out in the article, more than likely our greatest threat to create the Zombie Apocalypse is the very same people we would turn to for help! The scientists!

Have you ever heard of nanobots? A.K.A. nanites, nanoids, nanotechnology and so on and so forth?

Itty, bitty, unseen–practically–invisible robots that will one day inhabit our bodies. Designed to heal us with remarkable speed, boost our brain power, keep our bodies healthy despite whatever stupid stuff we may do to it, and whatever else your imagination can come up with. As with most science invented with the best of intentions, meant to aid us it will eventually turn around and bite us right where it hurts most…. the brain stem.

Our brain stem controls our basic motor and instinctual functions. (Breathing, biting, swallowing, shuffling about with an undead gait.) The idea suggested in the article above is that unless science counters the nanobots by installing infallible technology that turns the bots off immediately at death, the likelihood is that they will go on running the body like it’s just another day. But without the upper consciousness we humans have that separate us from the zombies, we are likely to end up as drooling, shuffling, rage–filled beasts that attack … well… everything!

(Of course, I’m paraphrasing. Read the article for the full story.)

For an idea of what the inevitable Zombie Apocalypse would possibly be like, pick up a copy of Max Brook’s second book, World War Z.

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Don’t forget! Tomorrow is the debut of Zombieland. I know. It looks funny rather than scary, but that’s not a bad thing. For the most part, “traditional” zombies are no longer terrifying. As a whole, people have grown accustomed to the idea of the dead rising from their graves. (Which is nearly worth a blog on its own merits. Really? We’re accustomed to that idea?)

So go watch it. It’s going to be awesome and worth your money. I plan to see it Saturday, and will definitely be reviewing it later that night. (I make no promises I won’t accidentally include spoilers, but I will try to warn you first!)

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RANDOM PARANOID FEAR OF THE DAY # 7:

That I will not survive to see the Zombie Apocalypse, and will only find myself lucky if I am resurrected from my grave. *sigh* Don’t want to miss out on the zombies! And the head shots!

Today, children, we’re going to learn about the tools to be found online that grant aid and sustenance to the struggling writer.  This will be a multi-series blogging experience. A first for me, and my readers.

As a writer, I need access to my current work-in-progress (hereafter addressed as WIP). You never know where you’ll be when the mood to write strikes you, much like a lightning bolt could always pick your car that one fateful night on the road.

I generally carry a journal for these writing emergencies. It’s a magical one that I believe passed along a newer, much more productive Muse. Also, it’s bulky, heavy and wrapped in wood, bound with leather. (An expensive gift that I love very much. Thanks, Kristen!)

If the mood really strikes, then there’s no way my hands can possibly keep up with what’s racing around my head. I just can’t write that fast. But I do type that fast, so if I’m really getting whipped by my Muse, I turn to a computer – any computer – in reach.

Here is where we find a major dilemma.

While most of the United States is, for the most part, tech-savvy, I still meet people who have no idea what a flash drive is. (A flash drive is a small device you can carry around, plugs into the USB port on your computer and stores information.)

I had never considered using a flash drive to store my stories, those active and completed, until a friend of mine suggested it. My poor, abused flash drive goes with me everywhere. The day it’s not in my purse is a rare one.

In its journeys with me, we’ve learned that sometimes carrying the WIP on a flash drive is down right frustrating.

First, there’s the wait while the computer acknowledges the flash drive, pretends to need the software in order to use it, etc. Then there’s the Crap-the-stupid-thing-didn’t-save-properly-last-time-and-I’m-missing-half-the-story issue.

Beneath it all is the lurking fear that you’ll drop your bag/briefcase/purse/wherever-you-keep-your-gizmos, and somehow permanently mangle the drive so it never loads again.

Through it all, you know that one day, you will have to buy another flash drive. It will run out of space, sooner or later.

There is a solution to these obstacles, though. As writers, I think we’ve underestimated the value (and distraction) of the Internet.

My favorite web service of all time is Google.

Why, you ask?

Because Google doesn’t play. The wonderful people at Google spend all their waking time on the Internets trying to find ways of making our lives easier. (Recently they released a new browser, designed specifically by them, called Google Chrome. Check it out. It is awesome.)

Not too long ago, they released what is essentially an Open-Source Word Processor ….. Online.

They call it Google Documents.

When I say that it is one of the most incredible, mind-blowing gifts I have been given as a writer, I am not joking around.

Through Google Documents, I have complete, secure access from any location to every single one of my documents. (Permitted I have uploaded them already.) I can pull up a story in a new window or tab, do some writing, quickly pull up a blank document if I feel like making notes as I write, and if necessary, pull up another tab to do some fast research. All within a single browser. All at a fairly decent speed.

The best part?

The possibility of Google Documents crashing is ridiculously minimal. (Though I would never inherently trust Google to fight to the death to save a little nobody newb’s writing. I do back-up what I put on Google, though I feel secure enough not to do it every day.)

They also offer you INFINITE space for every document you imagined you would write/work on.

Not only that, they also have templates for other projects (ranging from spreadsheets to resumes), you can “allow” outsiders to peer at your work, regardless of whether or not they have a Google account. They can edit, offer comments, make up a new part of the story, whatever.

The only thing that hinders you with Google Docs is your own imagination and paranoia. (That thing when you save 4 copies in different places and still worry about losing the whole shebang.)

I personally find Google’s organizational options to be more than satisfying. I can make as many folders as I want/need, rename at will and change label colors.

My only complaint is that Google Docs is falling behind as far as format goes. While writing, I tend to do so in block paragraphs, justified left, with an extra space between. In order to submit, that seemingly neat set of words must be double-spaced, tab indented, with zero extra lines between paragraphs. (Not to mention, headers and a cover page.) Here is where I’ve found my only problem. Google Docs at this time does not allow a lot of these changes. (It will probably change in the future.) So you will still need to copy/paste the WIP to a new doc and alter the format to suit your market’s needs.

Writer’s Tip #47: Once you have correctly formatted a story in standard manuscript format (see an example here), save it twice – once as your story, the other as a Correct Format Template. Then all you’ll need to do is copy/paste your future stories into the template and alter headers, title and byline, etc. as needed.

Also keep in mind that some markets chose to do things differently. Always read your markets guidelines before submitting!

So if you haven’t tried Google Documents yet, get yourself over there. It’s perfect for those times when you’re visiting family or friends and are, for whatever reason, unable to use your flash drive or whichever preferred method of keeping your stories close by.

I personally find the folders, labels, colors and infinite organization to be my favorite part. It’s far easier to move stories from folder to folder, or rename them in seconds, and so on and so forth. Imagine it as a gigantic filing cabinet, and you’ll never run out of file folders!

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Here we come to the end of The Writer’s Tool Box – Online. I hope I’ve offered some interesting tidbits and maybe some helpful advice.

Look forward to another installment next week. We’ll tackle the various websites online where writers can find markets to submit to. As well as any other ideas that jump into my head.

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As for other cool gadgets online, I just found an extension on Flock (my chosen web browser) that allows me to create and save screenshots of anything. (Where’d you think the screenshot of my Google Docs came from?)

It’s really cool and so easy to use, even I have no trouble. Check out Flock and their amazing extensions/add-ons.

I love playing with my gizmo.

If you haven’t already, stop by Myspace and add me as a friend. Just click the shot of my profile above.

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One more shot before we close the bar….

Talent in cheaper than table salt. What separates the talented individual from the successful one is a lot of hard work.
Stephen King

Isn't it pretty?

So my super-IT hubby has been playing around with our desktop. Found an interesting new program called “Fences” that you can use to clean up your desktop. See all those neat gray squares above? They are quite literally fences, adjustable and vanish with a double-click–kind of like a cowboy round-up for the icons cluttering your desktop. Beautiful, organized and customizable. I have no idea where to find it, but if you google “Fences computer program” you might find it yourself.

In the end, I bring this up because the desktop has been on the fritz – internets wise. When it is working, I am too tired to blog. When it’s not working, I am struck with a plethora of ideas to blog about. Crappy kind of deal. But my sister in law has finally brought us her old laptop–which she has been kind enough to give to us–and it manages to siphon a decent connection .. wait, did I say siphon? I mean.. it creates a magical, unknown internet connection that I can use to go online.

Yes. Magical.

Here I am once again. Ready to blog my little freckled heart out.

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I’ve been reading like mad with the internets not working. I’ve decimated a couple Bentley Little books, some Richard Laymon’s, a J. F. Gonzalez novel and a few miscellaneous others. I’m currently grinding deliciously slowly on Neil Gaiman’s “American Gods.” I’ve heard so much about this book, I was hesitant to pick it up. I didn’t want to read it and end up disappointed somehow. Thankfully, Gaiman is every bit the author he is made out to be (as though I didn’t already know that) and while I’m only a couple chapters in so far, it’s already been an amazing ride.

Soon there will be a couple of book review blogs. Look forward to those. Especially one of the Laymon books. I was shocked by part of the novel–but in a completely, “just WOW” kind of way.

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For the writing news, my novel is chugging along.

You know how they always say that when you’re writing a novel, you shouldn’t set it aside to work on whatever totally cool and much better idea occurs to you? Well, I knew that would happen. Even some of my longer short stories had other ideas intrude on their intimate time with the right half of my brain.

But I’ve already noted down about 3 different ideas for novellas or full length novels. If I’d known it would take starting a novel to get ideas for other works, then I would’ve started the novel seriously a long time ago.

Huh. Who’d a thought.

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Now, when it comes to writing stories, I always try to keep things realistic. You know, can’t have something completely, totally outrageous happen to your characters, otherwise you lose your readers because they know it’s completely unbelievable.

But something completely outrageous did happen to me just Sunday night. Something I didn’t think would happen to me–that my kids were too old to make this kind of mistake.

Yeah, never underestimate your 4 year old.

So, Sunday evening, the kids are running around, playing a combination hide and seek, knights vs. dragons game. I am in the living room, relaxing with a can of Coke and the television. Ah, the most evil of sirens.

The kids disappear into the kitchen for a second–I assume to head back outside for a last five minute play before the sun goes down.

Suddenly, my daughter comes running into the living room, mouth hanging open, semi-crying and doing her “OMG this is awful!” jig. A wiggly, wormy type of shaking/dancing that I’m torn between laughing at and worrying about.

She’s pointing at her tongue, and I barely understand the garbled mess of words fleeing her mouth. I make out just, “Tastes bad,” “cookies” and “burns.”

Now I’m scared and confused, so I race her into the kitchen again to rinse her mouth out. She’s gargling and spitting into the sink, all the while I’m asking her what she put in her mouth, did she swallow anything.

Michael, my dearly beloved soon to be in kindergarten 5 year old son, is pointing to some bits of white, creamy looking stuff that’s crumbled on the kitchen floor. He says, “Alex took a bit of that because it looks like the inside of a cookie.”

I realize, immediately, what it is.

It’s deodorant. Unfortunately, a used deodorant that has been sitting on the extra table in the kitchen, awaiting disposal or putting away.. Hey, we just moved a couple.. uh.. months ago and sometimes it’s hard enough taking the kids to school, keeping up with laundry, dishes, cooking, vaccumming.. let alone sorting out the piles of unpacked junk — or semi-unpacked junk lying around.

Well, for whatever sad or sorry reason the deodorant was on the table, she took a big bite out of it. Spit it out immediately–rinsed her mouth out very well and then brushed her teeth.

And complained later that it looked just like the inside of her Oreo cookies.

Yup. That’s the kind of outrageous circumstance I would generally avoid writing about in a story. But since it’s happened… well.. I have to wonder…

Anyone else’s kids mistake deodorant for the cream inside of a cookie?

Vampire Skeleton Found! (click to read the actual article)

Looky here! A second blog in March. Maybe I’ll get back into the habit of writing 3 or more a week.

As is, a friend in the Horror Library office on Zoetrope turned me to this article about archaeologists digging up a mass grave in Italy. The grave was a dumping place for people who died of the plague. Along with some other interesting pictures, there was this.

Since people back in the day didn’t understand the decomposition process, they believe a body that had black, viscous fluids dripping from its mouth was a vampire, resting after a night of feeding. Especially when the shroud covering the body was torn around the teeth. It was sign the vampire had been “chewing” on its shroud. They also believed this was how the plague spread. To prevent this, they shoved a rock into the mouth of bodies believed to be that of the Undead.

Interesting, huh? Go ahead and click the picture to read more.

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Right now, on the writing front, I’m working on a new project to help me finish my novel. A story that was supposed to be 5 or 6 thousand words is turning into a novel. The story in my head has grown too big for its britches and needs the space to grow. So, first novel it will be.

Also I’ve got some stories I’m looking for places to sub–as we speak, in another tab.

And I still need to buy my hard copy of Darkened Horizons. There can’t be anything better for a writer’s confidence than holding a hard copy of their work. I can’t wait to put it on my bookshelf so I can point it out to friends and family and say, “See? I have been put in a book!”

I’m still figuring how to set up my “writing zone.” I’m debating on whether or not to really take that spot in the garage or just settle for turning the computer desk in my station, and use the hallway closet for my office stuff. But really, is there enough room on this desk for all my office supplies? No. My habit needs space. So soon enough, when the pictures are on the wall and everything really is put away I’ll have time to set up my office in the garage. Either way, I’m happy.

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Spring Break is coming up. I don’t know what I’m going to do with the boy at home for a week. I’m kind of terrified of summer now.

Just this Sunday, we had a friend and her daughter over for dinner. After we’d eaten and were just chit-chatting, my son stands up–finds the missing new pair of underwear I couldn’t find earlier, still taped into a tube shape, and says, “I’m going to put my underwear on!”

We all laughed a little and I couldn’t help but ask, “Are you wearing underwear now?”

He nodded in the affirmative, turned around and pull down his pants to show us his Scooby Doo undies.

Can you see why I fear the coming week? That boy is crazy!

I wonder who he gets that from….

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I haven’t a clue what else to put here. I’ve got laundry to put away. So technically, it’s not Laundry Day, but a continuation of Laundry Day. Either way, it’s still a dangerous day.