Algebraic!

Posted on 23 March 2012 by Shanna Wynne

If you know what I mean by algebraic, you’re epic awesome. If you don’t, you probably don’t have kids or you’re a for-real-grown-up. (Note: I am not a for-real-grown-up. I’m an 8 year old trapped in a hobbit sized body that people keep insisting is an adult, but I keep telling them I don’t know what that word means! Besides the obvious requirement for giggling anytime adult is combined with something else. Adult diapers. Adult swim. Adult movies. Adult waffles. It’s all funny to me.)

So what’s this non-movie-review-themed blog going to be about? Well, if you haven’t caught on already…

Adventure Time (with Finn and Jake) is literally one of my favorite shows of all time. Not to suggest I don’t enjoy more adult fare too. I love The Walking Dead, Arrested Development, Alcatraz, Family Guy, Futurama, Johnny Test, Grimm, Once Upon A Time, and too many others to list because it exposes just how much time I waste sitting on my rear watching television. <sigh> But I can watch AT all the time and never really get bored, which says a lot for a kid’s show averaging 12 minutes per episode, with but 3 seasons in the can (so far).

I guess I’m a little over-excited since new episodes are hitting the adult-tube on April 2nd. I can’t wait!

But why bring this show up in the first place, you’re probably thinking as you scratch your head. Well, I think a lot can be learned from this show. It shouldn’t get overlooked just because it’s on Cartoon Network.

First, the show takes place in the Land of Ooo. Through reveals during certain episodes and the opening shots, the viewer realizes Ooo is actually planet Earth following some horrible, terrible catastrophic event. Remnants of war, bombs and planes and such, hang around like half-buried memorials to the world that used to be. Throwing logic right out the window, magic has become very real, the Candy Kingdom is filled with living, breathing, talking candy people, and Finn is the “last” human left.

Aside from its wildly apocalyptic setting, the show tackles some really serious plot lines. Zombies (twice), murderers, soul snatchers, of course Finn’s semi-lonely existence as the sole human anyone knows, vampires, whywolves, dungeons, beasts, best friends, kidnappers. One of my favorite moments finds Finn and Jake talking with talking Princess Bubblegum, in which they reveal Finn is the “last” human around and was found abandoned in the forest. Princess Bubblegum asks if Finn has any interesting stories about his human relatives, and he replies: “I’ve never met any other humans. When I think about it I get all soul searchy and weird.”

I freaking LOVE that stuff. There’s these little interjections of awesomeness between the fart and prank jokes that gets overlooked because it’s a show for children. The show tackles moral questions through the eyes of a heroic, violent boy on the cusp of teenagedom (he’s 13), and asks “Why not?”

Maybe I enjoy the show so much because in some ways, I really am still a child. For example: When you see a house with a turquoise/blue lawn, you know that pesticide was recently put down, right? Well, I thought it was paint and I didn’t learn it wasn’t until my husband told me so. One day I had remarked how silly it was that people painted their lawns in summer since the grass dies – especially since they painted it an unnatural color like blue – and he actually doubled over with laughter and told me through his tears that it was pesticide, not paint. I was 22 at the time. Just so you know. Go ahead and get your laughs in. I’ll wait and doodle.

From left to right: Jake, Ice King, Finn. Also my not-so-hot drawing skills are so math, right?

But really, the biggest lesson I take away from Adventure Time is to have fun, be yourself, be silly, be whatever you feel like being. (Insert create wherever it fits.) I realized recently I’ve been so wrapped up in writing something good — something that matters – I haven’t been creating and there is a difference between the two.

So thanks, Penn Ward and the Adventure Time cast and crew, for reminding me to enjoy what I do, even if I get a little silly (or plain crazy) at times.

Hump Day Horror presents Fright Night

Posted on 29 February 2012 by Shanna Wynne

Hump Day is here, and that means my life needs just a tad more horror in it. Up this week is Fright Night.

Oops, wrong one.

Sorry ’bout that. This here be the film I’m reviewing.

That's better.

Some quick facts and stats:

The stars I can name: Colin Farrell, Anton Yelchin (who to be honest, I could not have named if not for his impeccable role as Chekov … nuclear vessels .. If you DIDN’T read that in Chekov’s accent, you are NOT as much of a nerd as I am), and The Doctor himself, David Tennant. Then there’s some other people I don’t know. Feel free to browse the cast list at the movie’s IMDB page for more info.

Let’s get started, shall we?

Hey, I didn't know Criss Angel was in it too.

First, it is a rare moment when I end a film, any film, ready to rewind and watch it again. (That’s kind of old school for some of you young’uns who’ve never seen a VHS. Rewind, you ask? Well, it’s this thing where you wait an eternity only to find the video machine has come alive and destroyed everything you loved..) But I ended this movie so pumped I went through each section of the menu wishing there was more to watch (aside from a pretty funny blooper reel).

Second, this movie made me realize I’ve never written a vampire story. That’s something that needs to be fixed. Like now.

But back to the film… It opens with Peter Vincent’s show Fright Night, revealed to be a Criss Angel like stage show in Vegas. I have to admit, I really enjoyed the way the directors and writers updated the film. I didn’t know what to expect going in. I have figured it’d be an iffy shot-by-shot remake. Instead they took their time to think of how the movie would look if it were produced today. Peter Vincent is Criss Angel, Charley Brewster is a former-nerd-turned-douchebag-to-get-the-girl, Evil Ed is a nerdy Evil Ed, and Jerry is as malicious and violent as you’d expect a vampire in 2011 to be, more in line with the vampires of 30 Days of Night than with the more… romantized *cough–#*$holes–cough* of Twilight.

This is how I picture Eddy when I remember he sparkles. (Also my paint skillz are mad awesome, right?)

Anton Yelchin as Charley was passably entertaining. Or let me rephrase — he actually played a former-dweeb-turned-d’bag really well. It’s hard to be sympathetic for him in the beginning, but he becomes more likable when he gets down to business later. As well, Amy (who plays her? Some blonde.. name was Imogen Poots I think.. Wait, I’m dying laughing.. Yes, I do remember her name. Poots is a hilarious last name. I’m sorry, Imogen, but at once I’m happy you’re doing well with that. Also, a brief Google search reveals she was in 28 Weeks Later. She was the annoying older sister who started all the trouble in the first place) is passable as a ridiculously-hot teenager girl dating what is ostensibly a loser.

But really, the best performances in this remake are by Colin Farrell and David Tennant. I would’ve been happier with way more Jerry and Peter Vincent screen time.

Farrell’s Jerry isn’t the same sexual predator that Chris Sarandon’s was. (That scene in the 1985 film, between Jerry and Amy on the dance floor STILL makes me feel as uncomfortable as though I were 12 and watching it with my parents.) Farrell’s Jerry is violent and thirsty. When he sucks blood there’s little sexual gratification in it. It’s all about hunger and dominance, whereas Chris Sarandon’s vampire was about survival. Recall, if you will, that in 1985 Jerry offered Charley the chance to just forget that he was a vampire, they’d stay out of each other’s business and he’d get to live – as well as his loved ones. But in the original, Charley felt morally bound to stop the vampire before he fed on any more innocent people. In this version, I could buy if this Charley accepted that offer. He seems intent in the beginning on just keeping out Jerry, not destroying him.

David Tennant as Peter Vincent was superb. I couldn’t sum up his performance adequately. He makes me reconsider ever wearing leather pants — not that I have or was actually considering that, but I’ll definitely forego it for sure now.

The Doctor in that get-up. I can't get enough of it.

Performances aside, the story had the same premise, but really managed to convey a sense that it was a film in its own right, too. I think there’ s some interesting changes to characters (Peter Vincent gets a little more backstory and a wicked awesome Vegas apartment… penthouse suite.. something) and to the explanation of vampires (and Jerry) in particular. The CGI and special effects are great. The vampires are scary, not sparkling, and all is right in the world.

If you’re a fan of Fright Night or real vampires, you’ll enjoy it. If you prefer nighttime preternatural beasts that sparkle, well, that’s your prerogative, now isn’t it?

See what twenty years will do to you?

Hump Day Horror – Tucker & Dale vs Evil

Posted on 18 January 2012 by Shanna Wynne

It’s that time again. Hump Day is here again, bringing a little horror into our lives. Of course, every Wednesday is scary enough since there’s still two more days until Friday.

Today we’re watching …

So, this movie is quite hilarious. And so sweet, with a really deep meaning underneath the gore. Don’t judge a book by its cover. The crazy starts when Dale (Tyler Labine, from Reaper — an amazing cancelled TV show everyone should watch) attempts to talk to a “rich, college” girl at a gas station, and things just go downhill from there. His good friend and lifelong buddy Tucker (Alan Tudyk, from Firefly/Serenity — again amazing.. cancelled.. whatever, go watch it now!) spends most of the film encouraging and supporting Dale in his efforts to win over the sweet Allison (Katrina Bowden . . *crickets* dunno her, so.. whatevs).

Hilarity ensues when Allison’s friends lose their minds and all notion of rationality when attempting to “rescue” her from the hands of “killer hillbillies.” People die, *almost* entirely at their own hands. But, hey, Token Black Guy didn’t die first — that’s always a nice change of pace. Aside from that, not much else makes sense — unless you ascribe to the belief that college kids buy stock in their own brand of stupidity. Then you might just think its as logical as can be.

In the end, as hilarious as the movie is, it also reminds us that a cute funny fat guy is way better than a lunatic frat boy with anger issues.

Also, run with care.

Overall, the movie is funny, kind of touching, and I laughed out loud a few times. Not quite barrel rolls but a chuckle now and then is good. Really, I’ll watch anything with Alan Tudyk in it. Have you watched that guy in action?

Oh, Wash, how I miss you.

So, go forth and enjoy, derps and derpettes. It’s worth at least a viewing on Netflix Instant. (Or a buy if you’re into that type of bloody horror comedy. Not quite up to the zom-rom-com standards set by the amazing Simon Pegg, but a close third.. ish.)

So I sold my soul to 9gag . . .

Posted on 17 January 2012 by Shanna Wynne

Derps and Derpettes, has it been a while! Can’t believe the last time I posted was April. Well, no, actually I can quite easily believe that. Unfortunately it was around that time I discovered 9gag and lost my soul. (I am still trying to reclaim it – 9gag, she is a mean mistress.)

Also, school picked up steam (or continued at its infinitely sedate pace, whichever) and I wrote millions of essays, or at least it seemed that way. I can officially say that I am this <–> close to hating essays.

But that isn’t to say I haven’t been writing. I have been, and I even submitted something. It’s time to get this whole “writer” thing rolling again. (Sorry, le 9gag, you must give me back my souls now!) I just haven’t been blogging. Haven’t felt like I had anything to add to the conversation.

Enough with le excuses!

No excuse!

Suffice it to say, I’ll be blogging regularly. About what you ask? Oh, anything I feel like. Horror movies. Books. Comedies. Writing. Munchkins. It’s all up for grabs.

First, though, check this out:

My hubby swears I must be the reincarnation of the woman on the couch, third from the left. In a former life, I was a candidate for Miss Beatnik 1959. And named Patti.

Also, my photoshop skills are quite suckiest. After a couple hours, I give up trying to glue my face onto hers. It would’ve been funny, though. Oh well.

So my blogging skills are rusty. I’m going to have to get these muscles used to working again. I hope everyone clicked on the link to 9gag. I could always use a few more souls under my belt.

Til next time, when I return with a flick for “Hump Day Horror” and more blathering.

- le Weird One

Brian Lumley’s Titus Crow–A Review

Posted on 4 April 2011 by Shanna Wynne

So I have yet to think of a catchy title for my book reviews. (Suggestions are always welcome!) Until then, we’re going to stick with the simple fare. Here is a plain ol’ review of Brian Lumley’s book, Titus Crow: The Burrowers Beneath / The Transition of Titus Crow.

First, I absolutely adore the works of Brian Lumley. When I was 13(ish), my stepfather introduced me to the Necroscope, and I was forever in love.

Pictured: True Love

Lumley has an amazing writing style, and one day I will have to pour my thoughts about him (and others) into a blog all his own. Suffice it to say, he’s a fantastic writer and his approach his all his own.

In terms of the book at hand, Lumley takes on the Old Ones, fathered by H. P. Lovecraft. The style in which both The Burrowers Beneath and The Transition of Titus Crow are written is very reminiscent of Lovecraft. While the vocabulary is updated (but mind you, it’s still dated by our 2011 standards considering both were originally written prior to 1975) from the words used by Lovecraft and crew, the Titus Crow books are permeated by the atmosphere and power locked within the pages of such masterpieces as The Shadow Over Innsmouth and The Call of Cthulhu.

The title character, Titus Crow, is completely Lumley’s creation. Unlike many of the fragile-minded protagonists in Lovecraft’s work, usually left doddering as insanity soaked them through, Lumley’s characters are made of sterner stuff. Lumley is quoted as saying:

I have trouble relating to people who faint at the hint of a bad smell. A meep or glibber doesn’t cut it with me. (I love meeps and glibbers, don’t get me wrong, but I go looking for what made them!) That’s the main difference between my stories…and HPL’s. My guys fight back. Also, they like to have a laugh along the way.

I can’t help but relate to this thinking. I know as much as I enjoy Lovecraft’s work, I still feel a little letdown that humanity isn’t able to put up a better fight.

But that’s not what’s going to happen in this book! Not with a main character who looks like this –>

That is one awesome moustache and beard combination. One that will defeat Cthulhu!

I will be honest, though. I read the book last August, so it has been a while. That said, a lot has stuck with me. Crow has some amazing adventures in Transition, including encounters with the Hounds of Tyndalos, travels to new worlds and dimensions, spending an exorbitant amount of time lost among the space time continuum and more.

The Burrower’s Beneath, quite frankly, was amazing. Fraught with tension, and of the can’t-be-put-down-all-night quality that can be so hard to find in books today, The Burrower’s Beneath is not only readable despite its dated language, but enjoyable beyond measure.

Also, there was one bit that prompted me to actually write a note for my own devices. While I’m certain I’ve seen this method used before, it never quite set off the flash bulb in my brain enough for what it does to sink in. Here, within the delicate folds of Titus Crow, I had an Eureka Moment.

Pictured: Eureka – House Style

Whether to save room for stories in the future, while tantalizing readers today, or whatever his reasons, there are a few sections of Transition that are elliptical’d. Quite a bit. Leaving delicious bits exposed for the reader’s taste buds, while hiding the juicier heft to our imagination. I must say that while it left me a little frustrated and wanting to know more, I found it overall a wonderful way of teasing me to the point of … extreme satisfaction … but not quite getting me there in the end. Which leaves the rest of the novel to satisfy my hungry demands.

Titus Crow does just that. Overall, if you’re a fan of Lovecraft, it is extremely like you’ll enjoy this book, among Lumley’s many other takes on the Cthulu Mythos. If you’re not a fan of Lovecraft, reading this will make you one, or at the least curious enough to seek out the original.

Head on over to Amazon and pick up Titus Crow today!

Shanna Wynne

Horror Fanatic, Broke Writer, Mom. Not necessarily in that order.

Algebraic!

Hump Day Horror presents Fright Night

Hump Day Horror – Tucker & Dale vs Evil

So I sold my soul to 9gag . . .

Brian Lumley’s Titus Crow–A Review

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