Hump Day Horror – Tucker & Dale vs Evil

Posted on 18 January 2012 by Shanna Wynne

It’s that time again. Hump Day is here again, bringing a little horror into our lives. Of course, every Wednesday is scary enough since there’s still two more days until Friday.

Today we’re watching …

So, this movie is quite hilarious. And so sweet, with a really deep meaning underneath the gore. Don’t judge a book by its cover. The crazy starts when Dale (Tyler Labine, from Reaper — an amazing cancelled TV show everyone should watch) attempts to talk to a “rich, college” girl at a gas station, and things just go downhill from there. His good friend and lifelong buddy Tucker (Alan Tudyk, from Firefly/Serenity — again amazing.. cancelled.. whatever, go watch it now!) spends most of the film encouraging and supporting Dale in his efforts to win over the sweet Allison (Katrina Bowden . . *crickets* dunno her, so.. whatevs).

Hilarity ensues when Allison’s friends lose their minds and all notion of rationality when attempting to “rescue” her from the hands of “killer hillbillies.” People die, *almost* entirely at their own hands. But, hey, Token Black Guy didn’t die first — that’s always a nice change of pace. Aside from that, not much else makes sense — unless you ascribe to the belief that college kids buy stock in their own brand of stupidity. Then you might just think its as logical as can be.

In the end, as hilarious as the movie is, it also reminds us that a cute funny fat guy is way better than a lunatic frat boy with anger issues.

Also, run with care.

Overall, the movie is funny, kind of touching, and I laughed out loud a few times. Not quite barrel rolls but a chuckle now and then is good. Really, I’ll watch anything with Alan Tudyk in it. Have you watched that guy in action?

Oh, Wash, how I miss you.

So, go forth and enjoy, derps and derpettes. It’s worth at least a viewing on Netflix Instant. (Or a buy if you’re into that type of bloody horror comedy. Not quite up to the zom-rom-com standards set by the amazing Simon Pegg, but a close third.. ish.)

So I sold my soul to 9gag . . .

Posted on 17 January 2012 by Shanna Wynne

Derps and Derpettes, has it been a while! Can’t believe the last time I posted was April. Well, no, actually I can quite easily believe that. Unfortunately it was around that time I discovered 9gag and lost my soul. (I am still trying to reclaim it – 9gag, she is a mean mistress.)

Also, school picked up steam (or continued at its infinitely sedate pace, whichever) and I wrote millions of essays, or at least it seemed that way. I can officially say that I am this <–> close to hating essays.

But that isn’t to say I haven’t been writing. I have been, and I even submitted something. It’s time to get this whole “writer” thing rolling again. (Sorry, le 9gag, you must give me back my souls now!) I just haven’t been blogging. Haven’t felt like I had anything to add to the conversation.

Enough with le excuses!

No excuse!

Suffice it to say, I’ll be blogging regularly. About what you ask? Oh, anything I feel like. Horror movies. Books. Comedies. Writing. Munchkins. It’s all up for grabs.

First, though, check this out:

My hubby swears I must be the reincarnation of the woman on the couch, third from the left. In a former life, I was a candidate for Miss Beatnik 1959. And named Patti.

Also, my photoshop skills are quite suckiest. After a couple hours, I give up trying to glue my face onto hers. It would’ve been funny, though. Oh well.

So my blogging skills are rusty. I’m going to have to get these muscles used to working again. I hope everyone clicked on the link to 9gag. I could always use a few more souls under my belt.

Til next time, when I return with a flick for “Hump Day Horror” and more blathering.

- le Weird One

Brian Lumley’s Titus Crow–A Review

Posted on 4 April 2011 by Shanna Wynne

So I have yet to think of a catchy title for my book reviews. (Suggestions are always welcome!) Until then, we’re going to stick with the simple fare. Here is a plain ol’ review of Brian Lumley’s book, Titus Crow: The Burrowers Beneath / The Transition of Titus Crow.

First, I absolutely adore the works of Brian Lumley. When I was 13(ish), my stepfather introduced me to the Necroscope, and I was forever in love.

Pictured: True Love

Lumley has an amazing writing style, and one day I will have to pour my thoughts about him (and others) into a blog all his own. Suffice it to say, he’s a fantastic writer and his approach his all his own.

In terms of the book at hand, Lumley takes on the Old Ones, fathered by H. P. Lovecraft. The style in which both The Burrowers Beneath and The Transition of Titus Crow are written is very reminiscent of Lovecraft. While the vocabulary is updated (but mind you, it’s still dated by our 2011 standards considering both were originally written prior to 1975) from the words used by Lovecraft and crew, the Titus Crow books are permeated by the atmosphere and power locked within the pages of such masterpieces as The Shadow Over Innsmouth and The Call of Cthulhu.

The title character, Titus Crow, is completely Lumley’s creation. Unlike many of the fragile-minded protagonists in Lovecraft’s work, usually left doddering as insanity soaked them through, Lumley’s characters are made of sterner stuff. Lumley is quoted as saying:

I have trouble relating to people who faint at the hint of a bad smell. A meep or glibber doesn’t cut it with me. (I love meeps and glibbers, don’t get me wrong, but I go looking for what made them!) That’s the main difference between my stories…and HPL’s. My guys fight back. Also, they like to have a laugh along the way.

I can’t help but relate to this thinking. I know as much as I enjoy Lovecraft’s work, I still feel a little letdown that humanity isn’t able to put up a better fight.

But that’s not what’s going to happen in this book! Not with a main character who looks like this –>

That is one awesome moustache and beard combination. One that will defeat Cthulhu!

I will be honest, though. I read the book last August, so it has been a while. That said, a lot has stuck with me. Crow has some amazing adventures in Transition, including encounters with the Hounds of Tyndalos, travels to new worlds and dimensions, spending an exorbitant amount of time lost among the space time continuum and more.

The Burrower’s Beneath, quite frankly, was amazing. Fraught with tension, and of the can’t-be-put-down-all-night quality that can be so hard to find in books today, The Burrower’s Beneath is not only readable despite its dated language, but enjoyable beyond measure.

Also, there was one bit that prompted me to actually write a note for my own devices. While I’m certain I’ve seen this method used before, it never quite set off the flash bulb in my brain enough for what it does to sink in. Here, within the delicate folds of Titus Crow, I had an Eureka Moment.

Pictured: Eureka – House Style

Whether to save room for stories in the future, while tantalizing readers today, or whatever his reasons, there are a few sections of Transition that are elliptical’d. Quite a bit. Leaving delicious bits exposed for the reader’s taste buds, while hiding the juicier heft to our imagination. I must say that while it left me a little frustrated and wanting to know more, I found it overall a wonderful way of teasing me to the point of … extreme satisfaction … but not quite getting me there in the end. Which leaves the rest of the novel to satisfy my hungry demands.

Titus Crow does just that. Overall, if you’re a fan of Lovecraft, it is extremely like you’ll enjoy this book, among Lumley’s many other takes on the Cthulu Mythos. If you’re not a fan of Lovecraft, reading this will make you one, or at the least curious enough to seek out the original.

Head on over to Amazon and pick up Titus Crow today!

Hump Day Horror — Double Shot

Posted on 1 April 2011 by Shanna Wynne

This special (belated) Hump Day Horror edition is a double shot of goretastic flavorfulness. Half Indie, Half Mainstream. A mix of your two favorite flavors: bloody and terrifying.

bloody and terrifying.. deliciously terrifying...

So let’s take this double shot straight to the head!

Hump Day Horror

Double Shot

Necromentia

Directed and Written by Perry Teo; Co-Written by Stephanie Joyce

Starring Layton Matthews as Morbius; Chad Grimes as Travis; Santiago Craig as Hagen; Zelieann Rivera as Elizabeth; Zach Cumer as Thomas; and Nathan Ginn as Mr. Skinny

For an indie film, this one isn’t bad. Fans of the genre will immediately notice a striking similarity to Clive Barker’s Hellraiser in visuals and atmosphere. The premise is interesting: a Ouija board carved into flesh has the ability to open a doorway to Hell, offering a grieving man a chance to recover his lover… and that’s where the cover description ends and after about 45 minutes you realize the movie isn’t exactly all Dante’s Inferno (the game, not the poem). There is far more back story involved, and it isn’t until you reach about the hour mark that you realize the story is being told entirely backwards (alá Irréversible) and that’s when you start catching on to what’s really happening. A disgusting man is searching for his lover; a lost and still living soul seeks his brother; and a … well, that’s supposed to be the surprise part of the end, so I won’t ruin that.

But suffice it to say, the movie overall is good enough for a single-viewing, maybe even a second to understand it better, but I can’t see this film really standing the test of time. I think there was a lot left unsaid that could have really helped the film go past that line, but that’s the burden of the indie film. Low budget done well can be really good, but rare is the low budget film that will last a lifetime.

The best part of the film is a strange dream/hallucination (maybe more?) sequence where a dancing pig named Mr. Skinny manipulates a mentally disabled teenager. The insane song Mr. Skinny sings will definitely be an aspect that stands the test of time, as well as Chad Grimes’ performance as Travis, the living and lost soul searching for his brother. Be prepared for some intense and bloody torture scenes, some disgusting insinuations, and that crazy lullaby. Good job on the song, Mr. Teo. Really good job.

My Soul To Take

Directed by Wes Craven

Starring Max Thieriot as Adam “Bug” Hellerman; John Magaro as Alex; Denzel Whitaker as Jerome; Zena Grey as Penelope; Nick Lashaway as Brandon; Paulina Olszynski as Brittany; Jeremy Chu as Jay; Emily Meade as Fang; and Raul Esparza as Abel

For a mainstream teenage pop horror flick, this one isn’t bad, either. Craven is certainly showing that he hasn’t lost his skills. The film is filled with tension from beginning to nearly-end. Unfortunately, for the experienced movie-goer (and plot-writer), the ending is fairly easy to spot, but it’s not too hard to suspend your instinct to keep enjoying the movie anyway. The best part is in the beginning, when the original Riverton Ripper is acting out his .. possession? mental illness? hallucinations? Something like that. Either way, it’s a pretty good scene and well-acted by Raul Esparza. Later in the film, “Bug” has similar scenes and Max Thieriot does the scenes justice as well.

The movie is fairly straightforward. The idea is that there was once this bad guy who swore he’d be back for revenge, and 16 years later to the day, the day turns bloody. Seven kids born that night, one of whom has inherited the soul of the murderer, and no one can be quite sure who it really is. There’s an interesting sub-plot that could have been better developed. Another member of this “group,” Emily Meade as Fang, is revealed to be a crucial character only near the end, and you wonder how she ended up as the school’s female Godfather, running the “Mean Girls + One Idiot Jock Mafia.” Aside from the main character, Fang is the next most interesting character and could have used more development, but it is understandable. There’s only 2 hours and how much can Craven really fit in?

At the very least, the film isn’t Craven’s attempt at a “Jennifer’s Body” type of teenager flick, with some hot girls titillating the movie audience. It’s a sound film with a solid plot that might be obvious at times, but is enjoyable in the end. It’s also not a movie likely to last a lifetime, but it is a fun watch on a stormy spring evening. You might even jump at the shadows when it’s over. Maybe.

For a second opinion on Necromentia, try this review at QuietEarth and for another on My Soul To Take, try RottenTomatoes.

Final Tally
Necromentia     Three Bloody Hearts
       My Soul To Take     Three and a Half Bloody Hearts

Counting Down til the End

Posted on 27 March 2011 by Shanna Wynne

. . . . of the world . . . .

Well, perhaps not the end of the world. At least, not until December 21, 2012. (By the way, my apologies for that link. It was uncalled for. Try this one instead. It will hopefully be more to your liking.)

Unfortunately, while I’m still holding out hopes for a Zombie Apocalypse in 2012, I’m not really counting on it either. In the mean time, I am getting busy working on my bachelor’s degree. (It’s only been 9 years. About darned time I got started!) I’m getting my degree in Creative Writing and English online, and part of why I’ve been absent. School has been great, if a lot of busy work. (I write a LOT of essays!) But as I’ve started to get things balanced, it’s time to get back into the step of things.

Some updates since my last post:

I’ve moved once again. We’re stationed in yet another small Texas town, and moving has certainly been its own brand of fun. My poor, poor babies have been overturned and hauled around again. Those long-suffering books of mine, which had just gotten comfortable on their shelves, had to be packed up and moved again. Oh, yeah, and everybody else, too. I can say this honestly… I hate moving. I’ll probably start looking forward to it again in a few years, but for now, I’m glad to be getting comfortable again.

Getting comfortable again, adjusting to this new much busier schedule of mine, does include writing! Wait, let’s do that with a little more celebratory attitude…

I‘M WRITING!

Also I’ve got some plans in the works. Secret, world conquering plans. Which I will divulge at a later date. But just know the blueprints exist for domination. And domination it will be.

On the horror movie review front, I’ve got some reviews lined up, like: Necromentia, The Last Exorcism, Shutter, My Soul to Take, and I Sell the Dead. There will be others as they roll in, some new and some old. All with a touch of my individual brand of humor. (Flavored crazy, touched up with short and sweet.) Time for some Hump Day Horror with some Double Doses.

There’s book reviews in store, some free fiction, and a whole site overhaul. Keep an eye out for things to come! But with that in mind… it’s mid-terms, and I’ve got homework!

Random Truths I Should Never Admit to on the Internet #193

While ~~wasting my time~~ connecting with people on FB, in my mind I make car revving noises (vroom, vroom), and squealing brakes (eerrr@!!) when I begin an earnest session of drive-by status commenting… and/or updating my own status. Also and/or not including repetition of random words “like likety like like” and “status statusy.. status statusy..” Is my insanity showing?

Shanna Wynne

Horror Fanatic, Broke Writer, Mom. Not necessarily in that order.