Fickle Readers, Zombieland, and NaNoWriMo
Y’all are horrible, ya know? I put great effort into blogging a lot in September, and my views drop considerably (except for the week I blogged about Megan Fox, but her post was only third highest! Ha!!) … but I don’t blog for yet another month and my views go up and remain a constant 20-30 a day.
What is wrong with you?
No, that was not a rhetorical question! I want answers! Comment them!
But let’s not go into how you never comment…..
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So October 3rd, I went to see Zombieland.
There was one scene where I jumped. That’s it. Aside from that, the story was 90% funny, with a brief 10% of truly emotional back ground. A few scenes were very touching.
The zombies were not of the undead variety, rather they were the diseased living person type from 28 Days Later. They were also not very scary, despite the buckets of blood and creepy costumes. It was difficult to take the zombies seriously, when the opening credits are a slow-mo montage of spectacular zombie chases and attacks. (There’s a particular zombie-stripper moment which truly demonstrates the effect of gravity on breasts.)
The film contains many little flash backs, montages, and cut-aways, which make it obvious the film is going more for laughs than scares. (I really can’t imagine who they were planning to scare with hilarious set-ups like the Zombie Kill of the Week; the rules Columbus comes up with to survive the Zombie Apocalypse, such as “Beware of Bathrooms: Zombies like to attack at vulnerable moments;” as well as Columbus’s irrational fear of… everything. Including clowns. Worst is zombie clowns. Even I have to admit that one would actually scare me if stumbled upon in real life.)
The touching, emotional plot point steps in entirely in Tallahassee’s character, both the strongest and most withdrawn, yet the most emotional and connected to his past. While Wichita, her sister Little Rock and Columbus appear to have accepted the change in the world, as well as lost family and loved ones, with the ease and tolerance of the disconnected-from-people perspective of the young today, Tallahassee is closely tied to what he lost that he loved most dearly. When Columbus realizes just what the strong cowboy is talking about, and reveals the truth to the audience, a tear springs to the corner of your eye.
As such, I feel like standing on a podium in front of a tent decorated with zombie posters from the film, and harking about it’s complete package-ness. It’s touching, there might be a scare or two in it for you (if you’re easy), it’s hilarious, there’s a quest for Twinkies, and a Bill Murray cameo that was for once kept entirely out of the film’s press and took everyone by surprise. It has everything you’ve ever wanted in a zombie comedy!
I can’t wait for this movie to hit DVD shelves everywhere. It will be added to the collection.
Starring Woody Harrelson, Jesse Eisenberg, Emma Stone, and Abigail Breslin, with Bill Murray appearing as himself, this is the extent of the cast, aside from zombified extras.
So run out and see it if it’s in theaters in your area, or wait patiently for it to come on DVD, or steal it in transit to the dollar theater. Whichever option suits you best.
A sequel is possibly in the works, which would include the same returning cast, so keep an eye out for that. As such, I leave you with…
Zombie Clown. Just a messed up combination.
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NaNoWriMo is coming up. No, that’s not some Mork word. (If no one gets that, maybe I’ve watched too much old, old, OLD Nick at Nite.)
National Novel Writing Month is an event held every November, where thousands (millions?) of writers and wanna-be writers congregate at www.nanowrimo.org to fulfill their dreams of writing a novel in 30 days, at a pace of about 1,367 words per day.
Check it out.
There’s tons of forums to find encouragement and discuss frustrations.
The main idea is to write as much as possible as fast as possible to satisfy the 50,000 words by November 30th deadline.
If you make it through, there’s a prize. I do not recall what it is. Oh, wait, self-esteem and confidence. You wrote a novel. It will probably stink, but you still wrote it.
I’m trying again this year. I say “try” because I’ve yet to make it through the month and finish a 50K novel.
Usually, my problem is I take on too many side projects during the month and don’t leave enough breathing room to work on a novel. I have four days before the month starts again, I’m taking down a few notes and ideas to work on, then we shall see how it goes again this year.
Most of all, it’s about having fun. Not everyone who signs up succeeds, most just have fun getting as far as they can. There’s a lot of wonderful and helpful tips on the website for writing during NaNoWriMo, as well as in general.
So swing by and make yourself at home if you’re a writer. If you’re not, I must ask, who said you weren’t? Take your browser there and sign up. Do something new and different, even if you think you’ll fail, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try.
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I can’t wait to see how a new blog affects the views. I wonder if they’ll rise or fall? You fickle, fickle readers.
Keep an eye out. I’m going to do a review of Paranormal Activity here in the next few days. (When I find the odd moment of quiet time. Even now I am being smothered in the wee hours of the morning before school. Already the munchkins are up and hovering.)
See you on the flip side!
Let’s talk Zombies
Have you ever found yourself pondering the inevitable collapse of civilization at the hands of the undead? A.K.A. the Zombie Apocalypse? Have you wondered at how this could occur? What type of zombies you are likely to encounter? Are there multiple types? (According to Zombies Central, there are.)
If you haven’t yet, you should get your hands on a copy of the The Zombie 
Survival Guide: Complete Protection from the Living Dead by Max Brooks. Here you will find the guidance and directions about preparing yourself for the zombie onslaught. Whether it’s fortifying your home, the best weapons to arm yourself with, or how to “clean-up” after the Zombie Apocalypse ends, this book has everything you ever wanted to know.
It also sticks to the traditional rules about zombies.
What are these traditional rules?
Traditional Zombie Rules
#1:
Zombies are slow. Because of their rotting state of decay, zombies lack the ability to think beyond basic instincts (such as eating, finding food and shuffling around, and grunting) and can only move in a hobbled, limped gait. Their coordination lacks any cohesiveness. Combine that with their lack of muscle structure (if they have many muscles left at all) and you’re left with a slow-moving, if tenacious undead creature that will continue to pursue its prey long after the prey is out of sight.
#2:
The only sure way to kill a zombie is to blow its head right off. Sure, you can try setting it on fire or shooting it to smithereens, but if you don’t destroy the brain, you are not guaranteed that the zombie is officially–really–dead. It’s just immobile. As long as the brain is intact, it will continue to seek food…. i.e. YOUR gray matter.
#3:
One of the top reasons zombies are scary, whether the traditional slow- moving type or the modern fast, ninja-like ones, is the speed of infectious transmission. Do not get bitten! Keep infected blood out of any open orifice or wound! The smallest fraction of saliva or blood WILL infect you. Considering that there is never enough time for scientists to safely tackle the zombie disease (if that is the origin) with experiments and tests to determine if there is a cure or possible vaccination before the Apocalypse begins, the zombie plague spreads quickly from infected to uninfected, almost as though airborne. (This is definitely not the case, however; the plague would spread much faster if it were.) The best thing you can do to protect yourself is to avoid the bite or blood of a zombie!
So there we have the 3 basic, “traditional” rules. With emerging new and innovative science and the creative imagination, we are learning that there are many new rules to be learned.
First, I highly advocate reading “5 Scientific Reasons a Zombie Apocalypse Could Actually Happen,” by David Wong, from The Evil Sloth.
Now, sure you might be thinking that this stuff is just ridiculous fantasy. You might even think the Zombie Apocalypse is pure fiction! But keep an open-mind. Sure, the likelihood of an unholy evil or plague actually reanimating corpses is incredibly unlikely. (I’ll give you that. It’s just fun to think about.) But as it’s pointed out in the article, more than likely our greatest threat to create the Zombie Apocalypse is the very same people we would turn to for help! The scientists!
Have you ever heard of nanobots? A.K.A. nanites, nanoids, nanotechnology and so on and so forth?
Itty, bitty, unseen–practically–invisible robots that will one day inhabit our bodies. Designed to heal us with remarkable speed, boost our brain power, keep our bodies healthy despite whatever stupid stuff we may do to it, and whatever else your imagination can come up with. As with most science invented with the best of intentions, meant to aid us it will eventually turn around and bite us right where it hurts most…. the brain stem.
Our brain stem controls our basic motor and instinctual functions. (Breathing, biting, swallowing, shuffling about with an undead gait.) The idea suggested in the article above is that unless science counters the nanobots by installing infallible technology that turns the bots off immediately at death, the likelihood is that they will go on running the body like it’s just another day. But without the upper consciousness we humans have that separate us from the zombies, we are likely to end up as drooling, shuffling, rage–filled beasts that attack … well… everything!
(Of course, I’m paraphrasing. Read the article for the full story.)
For an idea of what the inevitable Zombie Apocalypse would possibly be like, pick up a copy of Max Brook’s second book, World War Z.
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Don’t forget! Tomorrow is the debut of Zombieland. I know. It looks funny rather than scary, but that’s not a bad thing. For the most part, “traditional” zombies are no longer terrifying. As a whole, people have grown accustomed to the idea of the dead rising from their graves. (Which is nearly worth a blog on its own merits. Really? We’re accustomed to that idea?)
So go watch it. It’s going to be awesome and worth your money. I plan to see it Saturday, and will definitely be reviewing it later that night. (I make no promises I won’t accidentally include spoilers, but I will try to warn you first!)
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RANDOM PARANOID FEAR OF THE DAY # 7:
That I will not survive to see the Zombie Apocalypse, and will only find myself lucky if I am resurrected from my grave. *sigh* Don’t want to miss out on the zombies! And the head shots!
Wednesday Night Horror Review – Jennifer’s Body
I know it’s Saturday, not Wednesday. But seeing as how Wednesday was my birthday, I figured I deserved a couple days of slack after turning 25. (I will blog about that later, with pictures of my birthday cake. It was very creatively designed by my mom and sister-in-law, Kristen. With a huge quarter and four candles, and only one lit, to signify the first quarter of my life. Inventive, no?)
So on to….
Jennifer’s Body
Written by Diablo Cody, of “Juno” fame, the cast includes Megan Fox, Amanda Seyfried, Adam Brody and Johnny Simmons, among others. I was readily amused by the appearance of J. K. Simmons in make-up and wig. (Also without a left hand. It was funny.)
First, I’ve read a lot of tweets and Facebook/Myspace updates about the film. For the most part, people didn’t really enjoy the experience.
I have to respectfully disagree. If you went to the theater expecting an actually scary film, then you may have overestimated the trailers.
For those who scare easily at the “jumpy” kind of scenes, you probably will end up a little scared. But if you required a deeper, more intense atmospheric moment to scare you, then you’ll find this movie is heavily more comedy than any other genre.
I sit comfortably in the latter group. I also had no idea the film was written by the same person behind Juno, otherwise I really would’ve expected a straight-ahead comedy. Based entirely on the trailers, I was expecting it to be a B-film, filled with droll, straight faced comedy and one-liners rather than an actual horror film. The “horror” aspect was merely a frame for the amazing pop dialogue and jokes.
So, let’s start with
What I Liked
Most of all, I enjoyed the pop dialogue. As someone who’s been out of the pubescent world for seven years, I find the new slang to be highly amusing. Megan Fox carried most of the interesting “pop” dialogue, using such colloquials as “lime green jello” instead of “jealous.” And others that I can’t really remember. (Never mind. Should’ve written the review when all the dialogue was still fresh in my mind. Next time I’ll remember to bring my journal!)
I personally had a hard time getting into the “scary” moments because I was too busy listening for more interesting dialogue. I admit, I find dialogue most intriguing. I’m a people watcher and hearing the various ways of saying the same thing have always raised a strong curiosity and interest in me.
However, there were a few good tense scenes. Quickly in the film, when Jennifer first reappears, there’s a repulsive, bloody, smiling Megan Fox who lets her psychopathy shine through. (If there’s ever a Hollywood actress I could believe would snap and murder people, I’d have to say Megan Fox is among the top ten.)
Near the end, Jennifer performs an act, that while not amazing, was certainly unexpected. The surprise in the moment is quickly lost in a one-liner, but I hung on to my surprise and joy as long as I could. (About 30 seconds.)
There’s also a rather shockingly passionate and straight-forward make-out scene between the two main characters. (Yes, the girls.) I was surprised to not hear more hooting and hollering in the theater. (Probably because most of the males in attendance were in the company of women. Couldn’t get caught hollering at a full on girl-girl make-out scene, could they?) If Megan Fox or Amanda Seyfried came out of the closet any time soon, I would not be completely shocked. They pulled off the sexual tension like they had an Ace in the hole.
What I Didn’t Like
There’s nothing, absolutely nothing, I hate more than when a beautiful opportunity is presented by the story to the author. A gift of love and creation, passed on by a benevolent Muse…. and the author refuses, for whatever stubborn reason, and turns it away.
I don’t want to give it all away, now, but there’s mention made of a scientifically interesting waterfall in the area, after which the town is named. At the bottom of the waterfall is a hole that the investigating scientists have been unable to determine where it ends… So where does the water go?
During Jennifer’s murder scene, they place the whole event near the waterfall. One of the villains stares down into the hole, as though contemplating using it. Near the end, we find out just where the water goes and it kind of ties into the plot of the film.
Yet, I can’t help but cringe. Ultimately, the possession of Jennifer’s Body is explained away by a Satanic ritual gone wrong, where the sacrifice’s body is possessed by a demon because it was unpure. (Cliche, no?)
When this is revealed, I wanted to scream at the screen.
The hole presented itself as a perfect excuse. I mean, what else lives in the dark depths of a hole that never ends? I would say demons. Could Jennifer’s body have been tossed down the hole, where it resurfaced, possessed? Forget the screwed up Satanic ritual. This was an interesting and original way of presenting the demonic possession…
Worst of all, the opportunity was gifted upon Cody. But did she recognize it for the gift it was? Apparently not. I can’t offer any theorizes as to why she decided to stick with “screwed up Satanic ritual” except that she may have been too busy coming up with interesting pop dialogue to worry a whole lot about plot.
As for another issue, in the beginning, the people who kidnap Jennifer for the ritual are an indie band, desperate to sign a contract, reaching fame and fortune. Jennifer seems to be entranced by their music and is “zombified” into following along with them docilely to her death.
Yet, I can’t help but be irked by the lack of explanation here. One, their intended victim was unknown to them. Sure, they obviously have immersed themselves in the occult in order to attain their celebrity, but there is no way they could have woven a musical spell around Jennifer, since they had NO idea which small town girl they were going to ritualize! If all or most of the girls in the bar at their gig had been mesmerized, I could let this slide, but only Jennifer showed any ill effects after listening to their music. So, just how did they manage to hypnotize Jennifer, and her alone, when they had no idea what girl they were going to use?
I despise glaring plot holes. They do occur, I must concede this, but as an author, I can’t help but feel it is our duty to work harder to get rid of the obvious ones. I personally find this, and the above dark hole in the earth, to be glaring plot errors that could have been easily resolved with a few words and adjustments.
As creative beings, we must strive to be better.
The ending itself wasn’t entirely bad. I rather enjoyed watching Seyfried’s transformation and revenge. Though, there is the final reveal of just where the water goes, and what resurfaces at the end. Really, these details were irrelevant. Her revenge could have been carried out without it and would have been better for it.
Overall, if you like a decent B-film that can make you laugh, maybe shiver, and definitely creep you out in a few scenes, go ahead and rent Jennifer’s Body when it’s released on DVD. (Unless you can score a great deal on movie tickets, and you like girl-on-girl make-out scenes, then you might as well see it on the big screen… That’s probably going to be the biggest thrill you get out of the whole movie.)
But to end on a good note, I am incredibly jealous of the dress Jennifer was going to wear to the dance. Check it out.
I love the way the red makes the black band and white really “pop.”
Oh, wait the red isn’t part of it? Hmm… Guess I’ll have to pre-bloodstain my dress at my next big formal event.
Many Apologies – Life
Oh, yes. Got another letter today. This is one addressed to “Lazy Writer in Lawton.” Post marked from LIFE.
Lazy Writer,
What has been up with you lately? Sure, you don’t put out much on a regular basis, but seriously… a month? A whole month with zero posts? Or any hard core writing at that?
This is your warning. Get back on track or we will send the Big Ass Patrolman around to your kick your booty.
Pissed Off,
Life
So, I’ve had a busy month. Lots of ups and downs. A few personal issues and just fatigue in general. Makes writing and blogging a difficult, though not completely impossible. (I am posting… finally, right?)
As such, I have only one question to ask…..
What is up with getting MORE site views when I don’t post at all than when I post regularly???
No, really. I’ve had days with over 100 sites views. I haven’t had that many site views since the FIRST day I announced the site was open to the public. Nearly 2 years ago!
So, thanks for being loyal I guess.
I think this means I owe you guys something.
Well, here ya go.
Keep trespassing all you want, however. Visit every link you can and don’t forget to leave footprints!
I’ll be back soon. Pinkie promise!!
